Discipline comes from the latin word “to teach”. We all want to do no harm. There is a way to teach that is respectful and empowering. Positive discipline is rooted in mutual respect, connection and firmness, teaching important social and life skills, and inviting children to discover how capable they are, safety in healthy limits and boundaries. When we come with that framework, that is effective teaching over the long term.

We all strive for significance and belonging, we’re socially wired.

Clear (visual) routines and agreements are key to positive discipline, have a rhythm for the day with a solutions-focused game plan. Explain this to your children, enabling intrinsic motivation. With curiosity, empowering guidance and questions, encourage children to have the courage to be their best selves.

By relating to your child’s experience, and holding space for validation, you establish connection and can better enable your children to make better decisions. Play and sensory mindfulness help to navigate routines in a way that fosters connection; find the fun in the time you spend together (singing, imagination, role-playing) as this also fosters motivation and connection.

Teach kids about their brain so they know when they’re flooded with emotion, so they have awareness about what’s happening, that we only solve problems when we’re calm. Coping skills, naming feelings, breathing and mindfulness help to calm when flooded with emotions.

Teaching kids about a “bug and a wish”. When kids are calm “it bugs me when you come into my room and don’t knock first, i wish that you would knock first”. I hear you that “it bugs you when I come into your room without knocking first, and that you wish that I’d knock first” did I hear that right?

Family meetings are unique to positive discipline, they help with relationships, including sibling relationships. Start with compliments, start with connection and respect, discuss important upcoming events, and explore problems with a solution-focused mindset.